I do not intend to tiptoe through life

I do not intend to tiptoe through life

Jade

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(no subject)	[Nov. 6th, 2015\|07:53 pm]
Most of my entries are open to the public. Anything that has to do with my personal life or inner-most thoughts though, will probably be locked. Please comment if you would like to be added. Thanks!
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(no subject)	[May. 23rd, 2012\|03:45 am]
dead
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I'm gonna do something crazy....	[Apr. 21st, 2012\|06:49 pm]
....and actually make an update. These are from December, haha. A bit behind. ( Fotos.....does anyone even go on here still?? )
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Oh my Gawd	[Dec. 7th, 2011\|11:24 am]
...been in such a dream state lately. I feel like I swallowed cupid. :) Words cannot describe how content I am.
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Another real life post, wow!	[Oct. 26th, 2011\|02:20 pm]
Here are the photos from the horror art show I did with my collective on October 1st. It was held in a loft in downtown San Diego. Gif of Lucy sword swallowing: http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v672/emeraldsrain/ART/Events/Front%20Window%20Studio/?action=view¤t=94294189.pbw ( Hi )
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Eh, why not	[Oct. 26th, 2011\|01:06 pm]
( Offensive material inside )
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Oh my God	[Sep. 18th, 2011\|12:57 pm]
Did it really just happen again? My life.
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Uneasy	[Aug. 30th, 2011\|10:39 pm]
10 seconds away from making all future posts friends-only. Too many anonymous San Diegans reading this. I don't care if I never post and when I do it has no substance and surely no juice. I don't like mingling my real world with this space.
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Hi	[Aug. 24th, 2011\|12:42 am]
I really can't find the energy to truly update this damn thing anymore. So many amazing (and a few devastating) things have been occuring, and yet the most I can get in here on a good day is a song I'm digging. Oh well.
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(no subject)	[Jul. 28th, 2011\|08:06 pm]
possibly I like the thrill of under me you quite so new
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(no subject)	[Jul. 25th, 2011\|04:25 pm]
"Nothing will be quite as I want it, but sometimes we eat the toast that is burned on one side anyway, don't we?" -Elizabeth Edwards
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Rest in peace girl, I know how tough it had to be for you...	[Jul. 25th, 2011\|04:13 pm]
You can't deny how beautiful both of these songs are:
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What a wonderful bite & swallow this was tonight

[Jul. 11th, 2011|11:51 pm]

[

music

the taunting silence

]

You should date an illiterate girl.
Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the evenings too long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent of a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, goddamnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so goddamned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life of which I spoke at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being told. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. Or, perhaps, stay and save my life.

Charles Warnke

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(no subject)	[May. 14th, 2011\|08:54 pm]
Oh how I wish I knew what advice the future me would give the present me....
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(no subject)	[May. 9th, 2011\|02:25 am]
This is the song of the night. On repeat.
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Oh yeah	[Apr. 14th, 2011\|11:21 pm]
Seeing Air Supply tomorrow! I forgot to mention that I saw Eric Burdon & the Animals last month as well. Still rocking it in his 70's
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(no subject)	[Apr. 11th, 2011\|11:00 pm]
( I have so many quote photos saved on my comp. that I might as well post em. Enjoy ) Oh, and here are photos from my group's latest art show. I sold three paintings, yeah! They were my outerspace-themed pieces titled the "Home" series.
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In a lumpy, slumpy, heart-heavy mood....	[Mar. 26th, 2011\|05:12 pm]
I lovehate when I feel this way. It's unavoidable. ( Read more... ) So are we going to be the next to get rocked hard by an earthquake or what? My home was built 101 years ago. It will topple like a house made of cards. I'm finally starting to feel like my recurrent dream for the past 15+ years of being caught in a tsunami may have merely been foreshadowing. Nice knowing you all!
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WANT	[Mar. 7th, 2011\|09:01 pm]
Why oh why do these have to cost thousands of dollars? Aren't there some good knock-offs somewhere? I MUST have an outerspace skirt!
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Johnny Depp + Dark Shadows	[Mar. 4th, 2011\|10:18 pm]
Um yes, yes, yes X 1,000. Let's just pray that Tim Burton can lay off the computer graphics. I used to love Dark Shadows as a child. Read
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(no subject)	[Mar. 3rd, 2011\|10:52 pm]
So bummed about the John Galliano scandal. :( I mean, obviously it is a terrible thing what he said, but I don't think he really meant it. I feel that he was just trying to get under their skin by saying the one thing that would truly upset them. Backstory HERE Here is one of my faves by him and one of the many reasons why I love true fashion:
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(no subject)	[Jan. 14th, 2011\|08:57 pm]
( You know the routine )
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BEYONCE	[Dec. 24th, 2010\|01:26 am]
I have been on such a Beyonce kick ever since I fell across these live performances of hers in Vegas. Nobody can hold a FLAME to this girl! I am in awe watching her perform.
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The Art of Dress....	[Dec. 24th, 2010\|01:22 am]
( <3 <3 <3 )
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Blissful	[Dec. 6th, 2010\|06:17 pm]
Been listening to these two gems on repeat all week
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Growing up with A.D.D.	[Nov. 28th, 2010\|09:05 pm]
I really enjoyed this: http://www.k12academics.com/articles/are-you-add-or-quick-smart-kid This is coming from someone who was diagnosed with A.D.D. as a child, stuffed with drugs such as ritalin and adderall and made to feel like I was "different" or to some, that I have a "disorder". Reading articles like the above really help to put things into perspective, not really for myself, but hopefully for those that don't quite understand us. I liked this part a lot: "So far, everyone keeps looking at ADD through the left-brained mentality. Let's look at the positive traits that are the opposite of everything they say is wrong with us. Half-empty glass of water Half-full glass of water You're easily distracted I'm constantly monitoring environment You can't focus I can multitask Your attention span is short My creative span is long You can't sit still at your CPA desk I can stand up at my sales counter all day You can't work in an assembly line I don't plan to You can't keep quiet I plan on talking for a living You're a poor planner I'm quick to improvise You can't write well I can type like the wind You're impulsive I'm ready to change strategy quickly You make snap decisions I make my mind up quickly You have no patience I can get results now! You have difficulty following instructions I'm independent and think outside the box You have a problem with authority I'm a born leader You're a daydreamer So was Walt Disney You're pushy I'm aggressive You act without considering consequences I'm willing to take risks and face danger You're lacking in the social graces Bite me!! (OK, you got one right)" A+ to the author.
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(no subject)	[Nov. 28th, 2010\|08:15 pm]

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The Ghostly Craziness Continues.....

[Nov. 26th, 2010|09:39 pm]

[

Tags

ghost, green, haunted, heritage park, old town, orb, victorian village

]

These past 30 days must be the ending (or beginning) of some cycle for me, I swear. I've now had another (potential) paranormal experience! I like to be logical about these kinds of things first, then if they cannot be explained, I usually open my mind to other-worldly possibilities.

Anyway, as I wrote in a few earlier posts, I recently spoke with some local ghost hunters who frequent the Whaley House. I told them about my childhood experience where I saw a green lady inside of the Whaley house. They helped me confirm that it was Violet, the daughter who committed suicide in the house's backyard. She has been seen with a green orb around her many times.

To further summarize, I took one of the lady's cards and was to email her so she could email me the photos that they have of Violet as a green orb in the house. Fast forward to this evening: I was walking around Victorian Village with David hoping to get some good shots before the night drew in. This spot has a page on my hidden San Diego website & I've been in need of some better photos that truly encompass this area. As we were walking around I noticed that one of the Victorian houses was left unlocked and opened! I couldn't believe my eyes! It was pitch black inside and David was still walking around the perimeter, so I took some photos from outside. Note that I was playing around with the aperture and shutter speed to allow more light into my lens, but to the naked eye, it was pitch black in the house. Look at these photos that I took and also observe that the green "orb" changes spots in each photo:

This first photo was taken with the flash on. You can faintly see the green orb:

( a few more )

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EPIC	[Nov. 24th, 2010\|05:37 pm]
I'm so glad somebody took the time to write this up, albeit a little harsh: http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=epic I don't think I've ever hated a word this much.
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Ugh.	[Nov. 20th, 2010\|09:03 pm]
Today is definitely one of those days. I've had 7 students out of 7 schools cry on me this week, for starters. I have to keep reminding them: it's just ART guys! Cry if you get punched in the face. Cry if a loved one dies, but really, there is no reason to cry over art. It should be enjoyable! The 7th student, which was today, was the icing on the cake though. It's nothing I've done as a teacher, but for some reason, watching my students cry because they are frustrated with their art breaks me down a bit. There must be something in the air this week. And just so you know I'm really not a bad art teacher, please look at my student's work (ages 4 on up) and tell me these students aren't amazing. So yeah, that and all the other little trivial nuisances from this week have put me in a foul mood today. Driving home in a down pour where everyone was going no more than 20 mph for survival didn't help much either. And just now, I read THIS news, which happened right down the hill from where I live. So some psycho is cutting off puppy's ears in my 'hood. Wonderful. That definitely makes me feel safe. Sometimes I wish I could press a button and just check out from this world for a bit. Kind of like a slumber while the rest of the world continues on. Then when I feel like checking back in, I would just press that button again! Hehe, 10 years ago I would have used a different remedy.... Okay, so my goal is to recap the better moments from these past few weeks and hopefully be in a cheerier mood once I have finished creating this post. I will start with a piece I just finished today for an upcoming show that my art collective will be in. It certainly turned out nowhere near how I wanted it to (what's new) and it looks like there is a heart-organ-cotton-candy-mess on her head, but I must move on to the next piece! There is an annoying glare from my flash that's really taking away from some of the better qualities of this piece. Speaking of exhibitions, here are the photos from our horror show. This was my collective's premier show! I am in awe with the talent. Oh and here is an interview I recently did to further introduce and explain our group. This is actually going to be an extremely long post, so let's begin..... ( 100 photos ahead )
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